Just a Wee bit South of here...

...lies a little town called Draper. If you're not from here, let me explain. It's a beautiful place. It's nestled right under the mountain. It's far enough from sin to get by but not too far that you're secluded from anything un-mormon. By that I mean if you went a little further south, you get to the "no coffee houses, nothing open on Sunday" kind of thing.

So instead there's this little mecca dripping in fancy strip malls and chain restaurants. & I can't stress enough the words "dripping & fancy". And maybe you never thought there could be a fancy strip mall but somehow, they pulled it off. Even the freeway exits are decorated. And if you drive far enough East you see 800,000 homes that only differ in the color of stucco on the outside. They all look alike. Every yard and hand is manicured and every house has a three car garage full of yes, three enormous cars. Every family has 4.5 kids to fit nicely in their big Suburbans. Every Suburban driver has perfectly straight hair, perfectly straight teeth and perfectly fake boobs. They wear soft, little Victoria Secr*t lounge wear and you only see that when they're unloading the baby from the back seat.

I found myself in this place the other night. I went there to see a movie and I noticed more than any time in my life that these people are different from the people I typically see. I live in a pretty nice neighborhood but no one in a 10 mile radius looks that good! What's in the water? Who trains these girls to look the same? Now Googie was really hoping for oodles of bonnet wearing hotties but these girls are just as interesting! Move over Big L*ve!

It freaked me out. Cristy and I kept talking about how strange it was - like going back in time except they weren't wearing poodle skirts or anything like that. I akin it to Stepford Wiv*s but even that is a little harsh. Just odd. No one was different than anyone else. Diversity was lacking on a huge level!

If it didn't have such an incredible backdrop, no one "my kind of normal" would live there. I thought this pictures of my beloved would give you an idea of what I'm talking about.

Now before anyone gets huffy, I do realize there might be some people who do not reflect my opinions here. (I can think of two right off the top of my head - G!) But still, you get the idea. :)

A nosy neighbor? I think not!

Cristy will hate this post.
Honey, please go away. Do not read any further.

So I met another neighbor the other night. His name is Ezra. This is also the name of a m*rmon prophet. What is with the prophet ties on my street? It’s beginning to freak me out a little.

Anyway, he was really nice. A bit of a love bird, really. He spoke softly and remained within my comfort zone until I stood inside the fence. But there’s something odd about him. There is also a child there. A boy – probably 15. He’s quiet and seems like a loner for the most part. The other neighbors have said things like, “they’re very mormon” “he’s kind of weird”. But we acknowledge him when we see him and he sort of lifts his head and mumbles hello.

So the other day…Friday…I went outside to get Molly and I couldn't find her. She’s hiding under a table and she’s scared to death. I can see that the neighbor boy has a friend over in his backyard. We can see their yard from the back part of ours so I walk over. It’s a stranger with some kind of pop gun. It’s supposed to look real but even I can tell it’s not. (later I found out it shoots pellets) I begin to ask what he’s doing (which is none of my business) and to ask if he did anything to scare or hurt my dog. (which IS my business) Just as the last word leaves my mouth, a real zombie sits straight up out of a grave…no wait, a grass person sits up from hiding in the grass and scares the living hell out of me! It’s the boy! The one that lives there! He’s dressed in some coat with long grass pieces all over it like he was hiding out during a jungle war. See? Odd. & his friend is target shooting the air and they’re about to be the next crazy shooters on the news!

I know I’m probably over reacting. I get it. But doesn’t it sound a bit strange? It’s not like they’re eight year olds playing cowboys – they’re almost driving age and they’re playing war. I think it’s scary.

Cristy thinks it’s scary that I even thought about it again after I first walked away from the rising zombie. But she has “ex” baggage around nosy neighbors. I am NOT a nosy neighbor. There isn’t another example I can give you where I’ve spied or obsessed. Just this.

& I’m right to be concerned.
r.i.g.h.t?