Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Not much to see here...

I'm 10dpo and feeling fine. No symptoms that I can think of - just trying to get through the last few days of not knowing. I really do okay until the last inning or so. No testing until day 14 - ever. & even then, I usually just wait another day or so. But now is about the time I start second guessing every little twinge or pain.

I dreamed I was pregnant last night. I haven't done that in a long time. Looking at the positive test seemed very real. Somehow after the test, I saw the size of my uterus. I sat there, checking it out and imagine how tiny my little baby was in there. It's was like a large roma tomato. I think I even touched it. It's gross just to write it. In my dream I started telling people I was pregnant and even had maternity clothes in my closet. I half woke and actually questioned what was real.

...

I don't believe in signs. Cristy will say that's a lie. She'll say I only believe in bad signs. I spent a long time thinking everything "good" was a sign. Pete's Dragon, Land Before Time, half moons - just to name a few. But now I think of it all like fiction or stories for fairy tales. Signs are what you find when you're looking too hard. I realize this makes me sounds ultra romantic. Kidding. But I like to think that, while I may be a little jaded, I live in real life and know not to expect the unexpected.

At the same time, I don't want any of you to assume that I don't have a mouth full of hope every single minute of the day. Hope is different than assuming or simply just "feeling it". I hope all. day. long. I am dripping with hope.

So...just a few more days and I'll have my answer. And I'll stop this game for another couple of weeks. And I'll drink. Big. (that's about two drinks max for me!) Then I'll start again because that's just how positively ready we ARE!

***

I thought you might all want to see this story. I'm not sure why. I guess I just thought of your jaws dropping just as mine did and it made me smile.

Woman sits on boyfriend's toilet for 2 years Deputies said a woman in western Kansas sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years, and they're investigating whether she was mistreated.

And here's another one you must see. I'm sure you all heard the horrific words from the Oklahoma State Rep. Sally Kern. This is a snipet from Ellen's Show today. For being so non-political, she sure has found her voice lately... Love it!