Thursday, January 4, 2007

So, I'm Loaded

Have I mentioned lately how wonderful my partner is? I know I said I would be more bitchy as my medications grew but all I really feel is more admiration and love for her. My hope is to actually have a pregnancy and then I'm sure the bitchy'ness will flow like crazy. But, for now, I see this beautiful, wonderful, amazing soul that brings me so much joy!

Every morning since we started this journey of in-vitro, she takes all the responsibility of getting the shots ready and then stands there with me as I cringe or yelp or even cry. & then she thanks me for doing it. Believe me, I do think I deserve thanks but how many people would really take the time to say thank you? She tells me I'm brave but I know how hard it is for her to watch me hurt. The bravery is spread amongst us and I'm really proud of how we're both dealing with it.

One little problem...all my life, well all of my years of thinking about babies, I've wanted to name a daughter Glory. I know it may sound strange but it goes with my other daughters name and it's beautiful and the definition could not be more meaningful. I don't like Gloria or Glo. But I LOVE Glory. My sweet, caring, kind partner doesn't have quite the same level of love around it. I'm willing to compromise - which isn't really like me but she's been so wonderful, remember? I also like the name Greta and she does as well. My problem to you shorten Greta? It seems that names that end with an "eeee" sound don't really need to be shortened so what do you do with Greta? Okay, I'm using far too much energy around this. I suppose we could have a boy. A boy. We also have a boy name but ... well, I won't complain. Remember, I'm not bitchy.

So I'm loaded with meds. My ovaries feel like they're going to fall out of me. I'm certain they're the size of tennis balls and I still have another week to grow them. By the end of next week, we'll have "retrieval"! It sounds painful but it will be a telling moment of just how well I've done. If the results are good, then five days after that they'll make me pregnant. & two weeks after that, I'll either be screaming from rooftops or crying from underneath the covers. Let's hope for rooftops!!

God, please oh please make us a baby. A girl named Greta. A boy, maybe Griffin. Both would be beautiful - a 'two for one' deal and we're all about that!