Thursday, February 15, 2007

Be Careful What You Wish For...

I've said I'm tired. I've said I'm ready. But now it's here and I'm scared to death. The Utah Supreme Court called yesterday to tell us they're ready to issue a ruling. I haven't talked a lot about this but I am assured that tomorrow, my daughter's life will be changed in some way.

This case began over three years ago and my guess is that they're getting a little tired of holding on to it. I don't blame them. And my hope is that they've gone over and over all the aspects of it - all the pro's and con's - not just law. So many times people forget about this little girl who's been torn from 1/2 her family. No matter what Gribble v Gribble says or Troxel v Granville, there are children who are loved in many different situations and it always will be! No matter how they rule tomorrow, our children are being born and being raised in families that aren't yet written into law. God, please hear me.

In many ways, I'm ready. The last three years have been very positive for us in that the courts, the Judges, the Commissioner, the Evaluators...all of them have ruled for Gracie's best interest. I live in a blood red State but still, they've looked past the fact that she has two moms and have simply sought to find what's best for her. So far, so good. My heart tells me that they will continue to protect her. It's my head that's killing me.

My head tells me that they've read all the briefs that say how unruly her mom has been. They've seen how she's in Contempt and how she refuses to comply unless it's on her terms. If they could only see us all together, they'd know what a fake she is. When I'm there, in her comfort zone, she's wonderful. We laugh and play and talk about good times. We cry and sit quietly and know what each other is thinking. If they knew those things, they'd know we would eventually work this out - for her.

I'm trying not to hold my breath. My heart beats softly as I think of her sweet face and her little voice. I pray that she knows I'm right there with her. And I pray that, after tomorrow, we will be that much closer to her always knowing I'll be right back.

Please hear me. She is depending on it.