It's August - weird.

Crazy how quickly time moves but still, not quickly enough. If I could blink and have it be years later, I would. I would be happy being fifty if I meant all I had to do was blink. But here I am...the world is turning and I suppose that'll do.

We're going camping this weekend. This is a treat for us because we hardly ever camp. We're actually river running and I think that's what convinced Cristy to go. She's just learning to camp. You would never guess it knowing her but she's a "indoor pool" kinda girl. I love that about her.

We're camping with a gay/lesbian parenting group. I heard there will be about 60 of us. That's a lot of kids and we're promising Yegs days of fun. I'm looking forward to being there with our friends and watching the kids go crazy but it also feels a little strange. This same parenting group is the same one my ex and I re-birthed back when our daughter was born. We had heard about it but it had died. We spent some time creating a website and gathering names and now it looks like it's bigger and better than ever. Weird tho. We've really avoided that whole scene for many years now. But a few of our friends have signed on to go so we'll give it a chance and pray for good times.

I will close my eyes 100 times this weekend and wish that Gracie were with us. She should be. She's supposed to be. I will think of when I used to take her to the same parenting group and she would shyly flirt with all the kids, beg for attention then run to my arms.

There will be a boy there that caused my first "my mom will beat up your mom" incident. Gracie was just walking and this little boy was sitting on the ground. His legs were spread apart and he tripped her - on purpose! He kept doing it and she just looked at him with these sweet eyes - not having a clue why he would do such a thing. It brought anger in me that I had never felt before. Not that I was ready to fight a six year old but I was seriously so mad that he would try to make her fall and worse, hurt her feelings. I'm feeling anxious sitting here thinking about it now! I can't remember what I finally said to him but it mattered more how I said it. He got up and went to tell on me. I was mad enough...I could've taken her. I need to remember that story.

We leave Friday and I'm not sure I'll post before then. If not, I'll post some pictures when I get back.

Wish me beautiful days on the river!