Five Months 'Til New Years Eve!

I know, hardly cause for celebration but a girl could use all the reasons she can get! :) Next year will surely be better than this one.

Last night we went to a fundraiser for a local theatre. It was wonderful. The title was "And the Bann*d Played On" - they focused on banned literature and songs and such. I laughed and cried throughout the whole thing. One book I thought some of you might love all over again is this. I've read it to Gracie many times at every B&N Story Telling Sunday but it never gets old and the fact that it's based on two very gay birds is just terribly sweet.

I cried all the way through the Dix*e Chicks - Not Ready to M*ke Nice. That has become my theme song of late and it brings out wells of emotions in me. I hate that they had such pain through the situation but I sure am happy they came up with that song. Something good out of something bad... just what I need right now.

I've been thinking more and more about the idea of adopting. That would also mean giving up the idea of being pregnant. Why is this so important to so many of us? I tackle the idea of being pregnant with so many "reasons". Biology means my child will never be taken away. Biology means I will care for a child from conception. Biology means we pick who/what make our baby. But it's hard and feeling hopeless and I begin to not care about those things as much. If another woman carries my child, wasn't it meant to be my child to begin with? Adopting/Surrogacy v IVF seems more hopeful. We'll end up with a baby - imagine that! & I won't be harming my body in the meantime. Since I'm certain to get OHSS again, it doesn't feel too awful to stray away from starting that mess again.

So I've been searching the sites and reading what you all have to say on the subject and I'll keep doing that for the next few weeks.

In the meantime, the countdown has begun. Five months 'til a New and better Year!