Monday, July 30, 2007

Sandy, Scooters, Sushi...

Another mom added to the list of so many of us on Friday. Her name is Jacqui and while I don't know her whole story, I'm glad she's here. - you are among friends.

The weekend was healing. Thanks for sticking it out with me. Every time I logged on to write, I ended up soaking in all of your words instead. It's amazing what a difference it can make for me. I hope you all feel the same.

Friday night was full of rest for us. I had a blueberry cocktail with J that afternoon that kind of set the scene for a relaxing evening. Cristy cooked a wonderful meal and allowed me to make her suffer through two movies. Both with Sandra Bullock and I didn't even do that on purpose. The next morning we woke up early and went to the Farmers Market. We were on our scooters for most of the day - it was lovely.

That night we had sushi with friends and planned to "swing by" the girl bar to say hi to a few friends. We ended up running into more friends and didn't get home until almost 3am! Mind you, we are girls who never "swing by" girl bars. There are only a couple anyway and neither are worth the "swing" but when you mix drinks with old friends and new just never know what will happen. It was so fun! At one point I asked E what time it was - thinking it was 11 or so - it was almost 1am. & we were just getting started! & to all of you who sang your hearts I wish I had it in me! Thanks for the entertainment! Who knew you all had it in you? Besides Cristy, of course. She's a natural! :)

Last night we had dinner with my attorney (now very close friend) and her family. She reminds me how hard we tried but also about how much we lost. We also found out that there's yet another case looming in the distance and I just cringe when I think about what she's going through and what she has ahead of her.

Life is strange. & so uncertain. & what you know might really not be. I feel like I'm turning a corner and I'm finally starting to feel the anger that I've desperately needed. I've been too afraid to be mad because for so long I had to maintain a relationship with the mother of her. If I got mad at her she'd just pull Gracie farther away. I guess I have the freedom to really hate her if I want to. And that just makes me sad.

Damnit. Maybe I need to spend more time at the bar.