Thursday, July 12, 2007

Some Days are Bad.

Today has been long. I feel tired and sad and I wish I could throw myself a little pitty party with just me, a warm bath and a bottle of wine. Instead, I have just a few minutes before I'm off to a work function with a bright, smiley face and warm welcomes. We'll see.

I've written a little bit here about the adoption laws in this State. They are nothing less than disgusting and of course I wish we could get all of the 500K children in foster care OUT of foster care. But even more appalling and nonsensical is the fact that we can't adopt our own children. Bad enough that it's not just a given. Worse that you can't have what's already yours.

A situation came on the radar screen a few weeks ago. (& I will lie telling you about it as to not bring too much attention...) A child has been placed in protective custody because the grandmother that has raised her thus far, recently passed away. Her bio parents are not in the picture and haven't been for some time. There's an Aunt who has been close with the child who assumed she would come live with her once the grandmother passed. Well, timing was off and instead, the child was sent to a foster home. The Aunt filed to gain custody but was denied because she's also in a long term relationship with a partner of 12 years. They share a home and a car and a couple of cats. The State said No. See, you can be gay and adopt in this State but you can't be gay and in a healthy relationship and adopt in this State. It's absurd.

So recently, the Aunt took the State to court and has since won full custody of this little girl. Why? What makes her different? Why can this Judge do something that other Judges won't? If the State appeals...well, they'll look like assholes trying to take a child away from someone she loves. Does this mean we should just take every case to court and see which one turns out good?

I heard the news and my heart was glad. But also a little bitter.

I don't understand why this world works the way it does. I don't understand why my daughter had to be the test case and why she will suffer when other's won't.

The Judge said he was tired of these children losing the only families they know just because the law is badly written. My Judge said that too. & then he gave me my daughter for two more years until another set of Judges re-read the law and made it bad again.

I love hearing happy endings but today I'm just feeling bitter. I miss her so intensely. If I could leave this minute and get to her and bring her home, I would be happy. Otherwise, there's no bothering today.