"Lost"

Does anyone else still watch this show? Finally, tonight, it's back. Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Hurlie...

I've watched it since it's first episode. It's about a group of people who crashed in a plane. And when they crashed, they found faith. All of their lives had been mishaped. They had trials that weren't be handled in a healthy way. One girl was pregnant and alone. Another was paralized and wanting to die. They crash on this island that has slowly, over three seasons, given them faith in one thing - the mirror of themselves.

Today was a hard day. I feel as if we've been thrown under a bus - I feel it for my friends and their friends. We were part of a group that had been lumped together to gain a little ground and stand a little stronger. There were three parts to our group. & let's just say, the other two left my part behind. The worst part? I get it.

As I spent all that time fighting for Gracie, I never wondered how bad I might make it for a mother behind me. Of course, people would tell me so I knew the possibility but it didn't matter. I was fighting on behalf of my daughter. If I could save her, I could work on the rest of them later. But that's what parents do. There was nothing that could have convinced me not to fight for her incase of creating bad law. I was fighting for her, not my people.

So now, that's what these people are doing. We hoped that a Bill that protected us all would pass through with flying colors. Instead, they cut us out to guarantee passage. (kinda like HRC did with ENDA...) Now, children of step-parents and grandchild of grandparents will never lose those relationships because there will be a law to protect them. But our children won't be included. Everyone's children but ours.

I found myself the "mirror of myself" today. Lost. I felt like karma had come to kick my ass. I was willing to sacrifice others to protect my daughter. The other parts of my army did the same thing today. They did and they should have. I can't blame them. Hundreds of children will be safe from the very thing Gracie wasn't. I'm grateful for that.

This bill has nothing at all to do with our adoption bill and we are still going full steam ahead with that. If it passes, the other won't matter. If it doesn't, we have to work that much harder next year. Wish us luck - lots of it.