Friday, June 1, 2007

Happy Pride!

Today is the first day of our 3 day Pride Festival here in SLC! I believe all of you around the country will be celebrating at some point this month. Gay or Straight, it's a great time to gather around and support the lgbt community!

I thought a good post today would be my coming out story. It's pretty pathetic but, again, it gives you a little "in" inside my life and isn't that what this whole blog thing is all about? :)

It was 1992, September I think. At the time, the only gay people I had every known were a couple of friends my parents had when I was growing up. That's it. I had always dated boys and, in fact, married a boy when I was 20. 10 months later I finally gave it up but no one would say I didn't try. We were best friends, never much more. So in September of 1992, it had probably been about four months since I was re-single, I was with some friends and one of them wanted to visit one of their friends who worked at a grocery store. She came outside and I hadn't paid much attention to her. But when it was time for us to leave her, she sort of walk around the circle of us and gave hugs to everyone. When she got to me, I held my breath. I still remember how different that hug was from any other I had ever experienced. We spent the next SEVEN YEARS together. I like to say it was about 5 1/2 years too long. :) I mean, she was wonderful and I learned many things but again, best friends...not much more.

During those first few years, my family all thought we were just great friends then roommates then they started questioning a little. I was terrified to come out. Why? I have no clue. My parents had gay friends, after all. Why would they judge me? I waited years but one night, it all came crashing down around me. My then girlfriend had 1/2 dumped me right before Christmas. I was driving to my parents house to bake cakes and wrap gifts when I was tapped by a UPS truck on an icy road. My car spun around several times before I finally hit the freeway wall and stopped. I was taken to the hospital and in all the chaos I said to my mother, "H is gay and I'm not. But I'm in love with her." Wow. How brave is that? NOT! I totally wimped out. But within a few days it all spilled out and, of course, it took H and I another couple of years to make a clean break.

The only drama I dealt with was my family being disappointed that I didn't trust them to love me enough. My brother couldn't understand why I wouldn't share such a big part of my life with him. My parents were stunned that I thought for a minute that they wouldn't love me the same. And my aunt just couldn't figure out how in the world we had sex. Of course. Everyone has that same aunt, right?

So, all of you, have a wonderful weekend celebrating who you are! I will celebrate you and the Pride I have for this community and the human community as a whole!

Big love!