Tuesday, June 26, 2007

And Another...

Another day, another news story. But this is written well and each of you should read it.

This particular woman, whose picture you will see in the article, is my friend. Not only do we share the same incredible attorney, we share the same unfortunate story. I've talked about her here before - her courage to fight for her child in a state that is fighting hard against her. I've talked about other mom's out there who read and comment here - same story, different place. All of us had children that we planned to parent forever. And all of us have lost them - temporarily.

But today, I want to talk more about the women who are doing this.

In this article you will read that her ex partner ended her relationship with her daughter the day after my ruling was issued. I met her before that and I listened to the fear she had about what would happen should my ruling come back against me and Gracie. First of all, I was terribly naive to think I would really lose Gracie and secondly, I was terribly naive to think that people would echo what my ex did to our daughter. I was actually shocked to receive her phone call that Sunday night.

But this is the problem. These women, many of them, are still walking around my community. And yours! Our Gay Community! Some are flying rainbow flags from their homes, some are heading parenting groups. Some are leading organizations that swear to secure the rights of lgbt families. Some are going to the bars and dancing the night away while their children are being babysat by someone other than their Other mother!

If you know anyone who is doing this, and I believe many of you do, demand an answer! I know you're probably not wanting to get involved. Or maybe you're thinking there are two different sides to every story and it's not your business. Maybe you're wanting to give it time to see how it really pans out. But it IS your business! It will effect you and your (future) family forever because the more it happens, the more common it will be. The more it happens, the more case law is developed to defeat future cases like Yours and Mine and Gina's and Leah's and Em's and Denise's, etc. & those cases are not just defeating us, they're defeating our children - YOUR children.

I have severe baggage around this whole thing. Obviously, I lost my daughter and will live with that fact until I can be with her again. But I also hold incredible guilt for being the "excuse" these women are throwing around. I have heard that people are using the threat of the "j*nes v b*rlow" case. "Well, you know about the ruling - you know what I can do!" My ruling, my life is the permission they needed to act so selfishly. It's the catalyst that Gina's ex needed to take her daughter away. & it's happening more and more.

If you know someone who is doing this very thing, ask them about it on behalf of Your family. You deserve an answer because it's not just their child they're hurting, it's your child too. They lose a parent - the end. Just like 1/2 the other "marriages" around the country - our relationships end and, most of the time, badly. But that doesn't have ANYTHING to do with our children.

I know I bring this up every few months but I'm hoping, someday, there won't be a need for it. Until then...

Don't Back off! Step UP!