Thursday, June 28, 2007

Will Science Render Men Unnecessary

Known Donor vs Anonymous much longer will we need either?

A few of us have been talking more and more about this subject. It always seems surreal to me. This article is far more sarcastic than the actual reality of it. But I thought it was fun to read.

Let me first state, however, that just because I'm a lesbian doesn't mean I would ever prefer a girl over a boy. I have experienced both a daughter and a son and, while very different, I would never say one gender is better or easier or prettier or smarter. The reason for wanting one over the other would have nothing to do with my preferring women over men. - just to get that out of the way.

The simple thought of Cristy and I making a baby together brings me such joy. Like 'way deep down kind of joy' that I almost haven't ever felt. I mean, we're trying to do that now but imagine if we didn't need to funnel through sperm banks or deal with anonymous or known donor talk. What if the sperm was created separately and there really was no third party? C-razy! & this has nothing to do with being a "man hater" or whatever else the Nazi's think of me. I love men - many of them. But you know, the thought of one naked in my very bed makes me cringe just a tiny bit. But of course there are covers and dark shades and lights that turn off so I'm certain many of you get by just fine. (i'm totally kidding)

My partner and I have spoke very little about using a known donor. I've always been 100% against the idea due to reading too many terrible court cases. (one right here, right now!) But after entering blogland and seeing how nicely it works out for some of you, I'm probably only about 86% against it now. :) Cristy is still 100% anti. & I get it. It leaves her way out of line in the legality of it all. But she's willing to hear the good parts as long as I don't forget the bad parts.

The good parts:

There would be not only a face but also a personality.
You would know so much more about the real things. Are they the reason your child is so ... ?
Blame. :)
When your child comes to you with the "where's my dad" questions, there would be a (sort of) answer.
There could possibly be another human who loves and adores your child. & you might love them back.
A potential babysitter.
Seems physically easier.

The bad parts:

Your child could possibly be related to five other boys in his home room class.
There's the legal stuff - in this State, he could come back for visitation rights.
People (family) might treat the donor with a title far too intimate that I'd like.
There would be another person who might love and adore your child as much as you do. (selfish me)

I'm really thinking hard about it. No rush. Just trying to put all our options on the hard, cold, baby making table.