Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Feel the rain on your face

It's spring in Utah today. The clouds rolled in over night and you can feel the moisture in the air. I love rain. It's cleansing and brings true colors to this concrete city.

I walked outside to get some lunch and stood still a moment. I didn't worry about my hair because God knows it wouldn't matter on a day like this. I felt chilled and when the wind blew rain onto my neck it felt like unexpected kisses. I shivered - in a good way. My partner is out of town on business so most things feel like kisses today - that only means I'm lacking since she left. It's a short trip so don't feel too badly for me.

I've been thinking a lot about cleansing out the old and renewing something positive. I've been making decisions for myself instead of allowing someone else to be the ruler of my universe. Looking back, I'm not sure it was worth waiting so long. My new beginning was long overdue. My boss told me that he's noticed a huge change in me since I started taking steps forward instead of standing still. Everything, for so long, depended on what my ex thought because if she didn't agree I would lose visitation. I tip toed around her for years and that's not an exaggeration. Now that the court took that power away from her and began holding it themselves, I don't tip toe. I don't have to.

Watch me grow.